As I promised in the last post, I’m here to (kinda late) deliver a text I made about a year ago! (I’ll try to keep the styles from the PDF hehe :3)
As a retrospect: This writing is the rambling of a pretty mentally-unstable individual (as I was back then, I’ve been getting better for about a year now 🐱) who just decided to “let it loose” and decides to not filter the output as long as it’s entertaining. Reading back on it, it’s quite an experience.
If you find it a weird story, no. It isn’t badly translated or AI-generated. It’s as much of a wild-ride in this version as it is in the original version.
Manifest in the defense of pet lampreys
Society errs in its thinking. And here I sit, writing under a blurred moonlight, with a lamp that doesn't illuminate; because it's off. But this darkness helps me concentrate, I cannot see the paper and thanks to that, I can fully visualize the only subject that my mind may complete. I swear, I'm not crying.
"A lamprey is a long marine animal, cylindrical and without scales, up to 75 centimeters of longitude, a dark color, cartilaginous skeleton, poorly developed fins and a mouth constituted of horn-shaped teeth."
That is the Oxford definition of a lamprey, and I’m outraged with it. They don’t cover the full potential of the species. They don’t mention their beautiful eyes, which observe with the force of a thousand enamored lovers. They don’t talk about the sensations you feel in the occasions when you can feed your darlings. A feat that tragically, usually only happens every 12 months. How dares Oxford dishonor lampreys in this way! Although not everything is lost, as they mention their great cylindricity, a typical lamprey feature and a beauty symbol.
My heart filled with disgust when, while announcing that I was writing this document months ago, an anti-lamprine group communicated with me. Their message was that “lampreys taste really good, yummy, yum”. They taste really good? The purest creature that has ever existed doesn’t deserve to be eaten.
Nonetheless, I feel sad for these people, I have the luxurious privilege that is looking into my lamprey’s eyes and observe how the mirror in her eyes fills with mine. This anti-lamprine group has never felt her warm and spiky kiss. This anti-lamprine group has never had the opportunity to talk to their lamprey. “I love you Alejandra”, “I love you too, Clotilde” are some of the conversations that I have with my cylindrical daughter. Some days we have long and fulfilling conversations about the state of our incomplete society. They won’t stop our love, not even with phrases like “What is that!?” or “Mama I’m scared”, which are a daily thing.
I found a pattern, as the leader of the lamprine movement, I’ve analyzed my peers’ pets and got to the conclusion of the cause of so much disgust. A dog’s average length is 15 - 110 centimeters. That means, that for the mass adoption of lampreys as pets and/or partner, they need to be longer.
Thanks for reading my manifest.
So, that’s the manifest. That’s the first creative text I made a few years ago. I hope that you enjoyed it. In all its performance artsyness. See you next time!